Friday, June 30, 2006

Don't Mess with Bob Barker.

As I layed in bed this morning with my semi-conscious girlfriend I decided to take on some giant waves and channel surf the unknown that is Brighthouse Networks. I quickly ran across a showing of The Price is Right. Stopping briefly at reflect on the fact that I had not seen this show in at least 15 years, I decided to take a peek and see how Bob Barker is holding up.

Turns out he's not doing so well.

Bob Barker has turned into an old, bitter man and may in fact be Satan himself.
For instance... during one of the bidding wars, the contestants failed to even come close to guessing the price of a patio space heater. The first lady, bless her heart, gave a reasonable bid of $1,000 which of course put her fellow players into a frenzy since they had seen the same space heater at a Wal-Mart bargain bin just weeks prior but still didn't want to bid low and look like a jackass. Their answer was to bid incredulous amounts of money in order to overcompensate for having their national television debut be on The Price is Right. After all the bids were locked in, it was revealed that they had all overbid by amounts of money that would cause riots in third world countries. He tells them to bid again. First lady (whose name I have forgotten even though she wore it on a giant name tag... because Bob is blind) lowers her bid to a cool $600 and once again sends the others into a bidding frenzy. For a second time they all overbid. He deletes the bids, players calls new prices. Once again, no one is even close. Bob flips out.
He momentarily stops the show to chastise the players for not being entertaining (I'm assuming that he means entertaining to the older folks who are killing time by watching TV before the early bird special begins). He tells them "it's moments like this on game shows that cause the general public to get up and change the channel on the remote."
Nice save, Bob.

After regaining his composure, Bob proceeded to fart a gaseous dust cloud and the show continued as normal.
He once again asks for bids. The first three players enter theirs without even stopping to think of what is coming out of their mouths. They're all too terrified of Bob to even think rationally. Or breathe. Or blink for that matter. The young gal who is to bid last then pulls the ultimate punk move and bids one dollar. When people bid a dollar on the show, I believe they should be tranquilized, tied up, and then the other contestants should be able to choose between a variety of sharp weapons and blunt objects with which to exact their revenge.
So of course this chump of a human being wins with her $1 bid and goes on to win a car or some crap. I don't remember. I was too busy watching Bob try to trip the guests with that microphone cord of his that apparently stretches all the way to Jupiter.

It's days like this where I wish I had that fancy DVR stuff so I could have recorded that episode and watched on repeat the moment that Bob Barker loses it on the contestants. You could almost smell their fear. The couldn't look him in the eyes, perspiration accumulated on their brows, and Bob's outrage may have even caused a case of uncontrollable urination in one lady. Maybe it was just because she was old? I don't know, I'm not a doctor.
It was all so priceless.

Way to keep it real, Bob.

I just have to assume that one day when he's finally forced into the wonderful world of fruit cups and sponge baths that we call the Nursing Home, he'll be sitting around watching old reruns of the show, wondering how he managed to never kill one. He'll retaliate by randomly striking out at the next nurse who walks by.

And remember, please get your pets spayed or neutered.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Lakeland has Lakes.

Friday at the Winner's Circle in Lakeland was a good time. We played with Isaac and the Cou (a local acoustic act) as well as From Adam to Atom from Orlando. We were sandwiched in the middle of the set, and I felt like we played very well. The crowd was sparse aside from the regular bar attendees, so it wasn't our target demographic. Everyone we met was very nice and we do hope to return to Lakeland in the near future.
We killed some time playing pool, which is quickly becoming a favorite activity for us in bars, and I sifted through 3,000 albums on their digital jukebox and couldn't find anything worth spending money on.
From Adam to Atom put on a great show. Always good to see those guys. Be sure to give them a listen at If you like us, you'll dig them too.

This Friday we make another triumphant return to Ocala where people actually know the words to our songs. Should be a good time. Hopefully K&K isn't so bloody hot this time around. Yeah, right. We're playing with our pals Rosedale and Orlando's My Adalyn with a fourth band TBA.

Keep it real.


Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Lesson Learned.

Things I've Learned in the Last Seven Days:

1. Will's Pub South now has an in-house bidet.
2. ... and a decent jukebox.
3. Warm Pepsi cannot be swallowed.
4. If there's extra room in the van, we really are forgetting something.
5. Cat puke on your pillow first thing in the morning can ruin your entire day.
6. Amanda and I cannot remove a broken door knob to save our lives.
7. The people at Brighthouse Cable love to give you broken stuff.
8. Everyone in my apartment complex has been stealing my internet.
9. Working the late shift interferes with my ability to go to good shows.
10. Booking a tour is hard and stressful.

Winner's Circle on Friday in Lakeland, FL.

We need more shows for early July.


Monday, June 19, 2006

Will's Bidet.

Yesterday: The Show That Almost Happened.

Will's Pub South... that place was a DIVE!
But I liked it. We got to the venue around 4:30 for a 6pm show (we were afraid of getting lost, okay?) because we like to be fashionably early. Looks good on the resume`. We were the first of anyone to show up and killed some time by drinking some cold beers.

It was brought to our attention that a pipe was broken in the men's restroom and and the room was filling up with water. It was shooting out everyone. Basically, the toilet had become a bidet. You know, one of those french things that shoots water up your butt. After a while, a steady stream of water started coming out from under the door. This is bad for several reasons.
A.) Bathroom water is gross
B.) Loose water is never good when you're going to have amps and mics set up in the near vicinity.

The bartender told us that she was attempting to get ahold of the bar manager to see if there was anything that they could do. To distract ourselves, Doug and I attempted to play a game of pool on the world's most dilapidated pool table and kept losing balls. It was not a lot of fun.
After losing the cue ball we called it a draw and I tackled the house jukebox which actually had a decent selection of tunes. I created an awesome seven song playlist to fuel the next game of pool. The jukebox started spouting out the tunes which included songs from The Pixies, Modest Mouse, Old 97's, The Beach Boys, and Journey. Yes, Journey.

Eventually one of the touring bands, Dear Stardom, made their way into the venue followed by the locals, Kiteline.

At this point the bartender told us that all they could do was shut off the water for the whole bar and by doing that, they would have to close for the night. So after we were herded outside, people were calling venues trying to get the show moved with no luck. We hung out with some members of Dear Stardom for a while talking about their tour so far and then we got back in Van Diesel and headed for home.
Maybe it's better that the show got cancelled since we accidently forgot our merch at the house. And we wondered why there was so much more room in the back of the van...


We'll see how the show in Lakeland goes. It's on Friday. From Adam to Atom is playing too. Should be cool.


Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Tour, pics, moving, etc....

So we're trying to book a tour. It's hard. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Out of 9 dates we've gotten 1 positive confirmation and 1 maybe. Hold your breath for our sake.

We're trying to get a bit more professional, so we decided we need to get some new promotional photos done. We're hoping to take care of that next week sometime. Tomorrow we're gonna go shopping and try to find some sweet threads to wear since normally all we wear are band shirts and jeans. I don't think we need to give free promo to any bands in our pics. The focus is supposed to be on our ugly mugs, right?

Phase one of moving into ENY-HQ will happen on Saturday.

Guess that's it.



Sunday, June 11, 2006

No Hula Girls to call our own.

Have I really not written since Wednesday? Well crap.

I had a busy weekend.

Friday afternoon we loaded up Van Diesel and headed out to Daytona Beach for another romp at the Seabreeze Coffee Connection. We were relieved that all of our gear actually fit into the van, as there were some concerns early on, but not only did everthing fit, but we could still see out the rear window!
Yeah, I get excited over the little things in life.

Anyway... I took the command chair for the duration of the ride to the venue and did my best not to panic whilst driving on I-4 (that's a really crazy highway for all of you non-Florida peoples). I managed to get us all the way to Daytona without doing anything foolish but had to have Bert take over the reins when it came to parallel parking in front of the venue. Upon arrival we met one of the other bands called "In Plain Language" who were on the road for the weekend. They gave us the bad news that the only local band on the bill had cancelled so the show consisted of us from Orlando and 2 bands from Lakeland, FL. Not exactly what you like to hear when playing out of town shows. We had a few faithful fans make the trip to see us for which we are very grateful. Since the show start time got pushed back from 7 to 8pm we had some time to kill so JoAnna, Bert, and myself headed down to the beach a few blocks away to breath in some of that ocean air. It was nice. On the way back to the venue we stopped into a corner shop full of knick-knacks to see if we couldn't find a dancing hula girl for the dashboard of the van. Turns out that they had everything in the world except what we were looking for. Just our luck.

We headed back to the venue and were confused further to find out that we were up last on the lineup for the evening. After the first band played, they left to head home, taking half the audience with them which was kind of a bummer, but whatever. Playing second was a band called "Awesome You" who played with some good energy in the stlye of a Blink 182/Green Day lovechild.
We finished out the night for a small crowd, but everyone seemed to have a good time. There was dancing, singing, and police. Oh yeah, the police came in while we played our encore. Yes, we got an encore. I don't know why they stopped in, but they seemed to enjoy themselves for the few minutes they loitered about. We were playing our song "Window" at the time but they left before I could get them to clap along during the chorus.

Oh yeah: Doug wants me to mention that JoAnna hit him in the face with a water bottle. I didn't see it. Apparently it was hilarious.

We loaded out, shook hands, said our thank yous, and Bert climbed behind the wheel for the drive back to O-Town. We didn't go anywhere immediately though. I sat in the passenger seat exhausted and waiting for Doug and JoAnna to join us. We almost left them there. Almost. Fine, not really.


On Saturday we got a house.
First a van, now a house.
That's how we roll.
So we officially have an ENY-HQ where the four of us will be living in tight quarters and probably making music from time to time.
We haven't moved yet, but that should happen over the next few weeks.
It should be interesting. We'll have stories. They may not be all that exciting, but they will be stories nonetheless.

Today I went to work at 6am. Cut me some slack on the apathetic entry that has taken me almost 15 minutes to hammer out due to me having to make everything sound way more interesting than it really is, was, or will be.

Yeah, so I'm getting kind of bored with this.

We're playing in Orlando on Sunday at Will's Pub South.
I've never been there. I guess that's gonna change really soon.

Doug and I are under the impression that Gary Coleman lives in the bushes outside of my apartment.
You don't think so?
Well, have you seen him anywhere else lately?


Wednesday, June 07, 2006

It feels like we haven't played a show in months when in reality it's only been about 2 weeks. That seems too long. Luckily we have lots of fun stuff coming up here in June starting with Friday's show in Daytona Beach.

One of the things I love about playing in other towns is seeing how the kids act at shows.
For instance, Daytona kids aren't as rowdy as Ocala kids.
Ocala kids will dance, laugh, and sing along.
Daytona kids stand in front of you while you play with their arms crossed and if they're into it, you might get them nodding to the beat.
Ocala kids talk to you after the show.
Daytona kids ignore you.
Ocala kids bring you cookies and good stories.
Daytona kids ignore you.
Ocala kids are right up front while their favorite band plays.
Daytona kids stand outside.

Sure there are exceptions to the rule, and this doesn't mean I dislike playing in Daytona Beach, I just think the kids could be more welcoming and inviting, y'know?

Moving on...

On Monday night ENY hit up dollar Bowling night at one of the local lanes. We went to meet up with some friends and got to bowl several games with Chris and Jeremy of the Orlando-based band called Rory ( who are on the Orlando record label called 111 Records, home of other bands such as Mashlin, Inkwell, and This Day & Age.
Rory has a new CD coming out in September called "We're Up to No Good, We're Up to No Good." Please pick up a copy of that when it's released. I got to hear one of the new songs a while back and it was a great tune. They had several tracks produced by Mark Hoppus. Always cool, right? So yeah. Listen and love. They're fantastic.

Friday. Coffee Connection. Daytona Beach. 7pm. $5. Early Next Year. + additional bands.



Sunday, June 04, 2006

Hello there, faithful readers of the ENYBlog!

It's currently a busy time here in ENY land.
First off, we finally got ourselves a Van. About time, right? I'll be the first to admit that it's been a pain taking 2-3 cars everywhere for the last few months. It was hampering our ability to play out of town shows, but I'm really hoping that's all behind us now. I found an ad for the van online on Friday, made some calls and Doug, JoAnna, and myself went to check it out. It fit into our price range and size requirements, so the next day we grabbed that sucker.

It's big. It's green. It's name? VAN DIESEL!!
We'll be test running it to Daytona Beach on Friday.

Second section of big news:
Now that we have a set of "Wheels" we can finally get that touring started.
We've blocked out a week at the end of July/beginning of August, and we're trying to fill up the dates ASAP.

Here's the itinerary so far of where we hope to be:

Friday, July 28 - Gainesville, FL
Saturday, July 29 - Jacksonville, FL
Sunday, July 30 - Atlanta, GA
Monday, July 31 - Athens, GA
Tuesday, Agust 1 - Auburn, AL
Wednesday, August 2 - Tallahassee, FL
Thursday, August 3 - Tampa, FL
Friday, August 4 - Orlando, FL
Saturday, August 5 - Ocala, FL

If you or any of your friends might be able to help us with any of these dates, hit us up on the old MySpace.

In July not only do we celebrate 3 years of being a band, but we get to celebrate the one year anniversary of "Sarcasm Is Your Friend" being released.
How embarassing is that? We're touring to support the record a year after it was released.
Better late than never.

Peace and hair grease.


Friday, June 02, 2006

Another day, another van to look at.
Please, please, please let this be the one.
It's blue. Not that I care.

Details sooner or later.
Probably later.